Oh, HELL Noah.

A man and his dog, firmly on the edge.
IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE? LEAVING ME HERE IN THE JUNGLE? I’M A HOUSE PET, DINGUS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS I’M A PET WHO BELONGS IN A HOUSE. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE IN THE JUNGLE? WOLVES. OKAY, MAYBE NOT WOLVES. BUT CATS. BIG CATS. CATS THAT WILL CLAW YOUR FACE OFF IF YOU LOOK AT THEM THE WRONG WAY. LIKE HAROLD TIMES A BILLION ON THE BITCHY FELINE SCALE. ALSO MOSQUITOES. YOU KNOW I’M ALLERGIC TO THOSE THINGS. AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR FOOD? HUNT THINGS? I CAN’T EVEN CHASE AFTER A DUST BUNNY WITHOUT FALLING OVER. YOU’VE PLACATED ME PAST THE POINT OF EXTREME DOCILITY AND NOW YOU’VE LEFT ME HERE LIKE A JERK AND I’M GOING TO DIE. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? CLEARLY THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT. ME, DEAD. IN THE JUNGLE. SERVED UP ON A SILVER PLATTER AS DINNER FOR THE CATS. ooooookay. clearly i shouldn’t go on vacation anymore without hiring someone to tend to the garden. IT’S LIKE LORD OF THE FLIES OUT HERE! THEY TOOK MY GLASSES! I CAN’T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES! ARE YOU HAPPY, YOU GREASY BASTARD??? never for very long.

IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE? LEAVING ME HERE IN THE JUNGLE? I’M A HOUSE PET, DINGUS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS I’M A PET WHO BELONGS IN A HOUSE. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE IN THE JUNGLE? WOLVES. OKAY, MAYBE NOT WOLVES. BUT CATS. BIG CATS. CATS THAT WILL CLAW YOUR FACE OFF IF YOU LOOK AT THEM THE WRONG WAY. LIKE HAROLD TIMES A BILLION ON THE BITCHY FELINE SCALE. ALSO MOSQUITOES. YOU KNOW I’M ALLERGIC TO THOSE THINGS. AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR FOOD? HUNT THINGS? I CAN’T EVEN CHASE AFTER A DUST BUNNY WITHOUT FALLING OVER. YOU’VE PLACATED ME PAST THE POINT OF EXTREME DOCILITY AND NOW YOU’VE LEFT ME HERE LIKE A JERK AND I’M GOING TO DIE. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? CLEARLY THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT. ME, DEAD. IN THE JUNGLE. SERVED UP ON A SILVER PLATTER AS DINNER FOR THE CATS.

ooooookay. clearly i shouldn’t go on vacation anymore without hiring someone to tend to the garden.

IT’S LIKE LORD OF THE FLIES OUT HERE! THEY TOOK MY GLASSES! I CAN’T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES! ARE YOU HAPPY, YOU GREASY BASTARD???

never for very long.

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