Oh, HELL Noah.

“QUICK, CAPTAIN. WE HAVE TO HAVE ALL OF THE SPACE SEX BEFORE THE BAD GUYS FIND US.”

“OH, SPOCK. DON’T GET ME DISTRACTED. I’VE ALREADY GOT A GIANT BONER FROM THE WAY YOU’RE LOOKING HUNGRILY AT MY EAR.”

“ALSO I’M HOLDING THIS PHALLIC WEAPON. DOES THAT TURN YOU ON?”

“YEAH, KINDA. HEY, AFTER I’M DONE STARING INTO SPACE, WILL YOU DO ME WITH YOUR THREE-HEADED, GREEN VULCAN DICK OR WHATEVER THE HELL’S GOING ON DOWN THERE?”

“AFFIRMATIVE.”

…noah. what are you doing?

JUST WRITING SOME FANFIC. PRETTY HOT, HUH? DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CROSSPOST THIS TO DREAMWIDTH?

why did i let the apple store guy talk me into getting you an ipad?

THAT GUY IS THE BEST.